When the person I thought would always be there disappears from my life I get distrustful of everyone. I withdraw into myself and I become afraid to conquer the world. In fact, I no longer want to conquer anything. I just want to stay in bed. But it is often while I am hiding under my blankets and never wanting to emerge into the world again that God meets me in my cave. And it is there that He assures me I am not alone. And then with the assurance from God, I emerge from my cave. But I stay out just a little while and withdraw again. It takes me time to build up the assurance to stay out of the cave.

I believe one way God keeps me out of the cave is to put the battle in front of me. When someone has a need and God places that need on my radar or when the ministry has launched with its calendar, I am pulled into activity whether or not I am ready. I find that deadlines can sometimes serve as a life saver because they force me to get out of bed. When I know God has put a conference on the calendar I know that no matter how I am feeling, I must get through the conference because thousands will be impacted if I just quit. And then I’m surprised at how staying committed to what God has put on the schedule pushed me to get up in the morning. And the more I get up, the more I keep going. And then the choice to keep going becomes my mode of operation. It’s like I’m on auto pilot and God has trained me to be a warrior He can trust to finish His mission.

6 Responses to “But They Said They’d Always Be There”

  1. Daughter of the King says:

    I actually expect people to leave, whether it’s of their own accord, through circumstances they can’t control or through death. I think from the fall of man we were destined to have relationships that would split, I mean look how we did God. I think with that mindset it’s easier to appreciate the time that we DO have together. Every extended interaction I’ve had with another person has taught me at least one thing. I’m always grateful for the time, even if it’s not meant to last.

    • Anita Carman says:

      I think there are some people who leave because they released themselves prematurely. I think my mother released herself prematurely. In ministry I have found that those God called the way God appointed Aaron to walk with Moses cannot be persuaded to leave. I remember years ago someone walked into my life and told me God chose her to be a trusted lifetime friend in my life. Her argument was, though all abandon you I will stay. I told her she sounded like Peter and he was overconfident and failed. This person insisted she would stay. A decade later I have found that no matter what I did to try to push this person away she was unmovable. I learned from that experience there are people God calls to walk with us for a lifetime. They are driven by obedience to God and nothing will change their commitment because their convictions come from God’s marching order. They don’t care about income or title. They care about obedience to God’s call.

  2. Kimberly Smith says:

    I have finally learned after all these years that people will come and go. I used to think they would stay but now I know they may be in my life for a season. I learned to put my trust and my heart to God and not latch on to people anymore. I won’t hold on so tight. I can be assured that God will never leave me nor forsake me. Not that all the time people leave due to bad situations but it may be that their part in my life is over.

    • Anita Carman says:

      I know intellectually that people come and go but I find myself getting close to people. I tried not to get too close or to open my heart too much but God showed me I cannot love people the way He loves if I am worried about protecting my heart. So my struggle is to open my heart to love while knowing that love means opening myself up to be hurt. Today I trust God is my pillar when someone is no longer in my life but there is no getting around being hurt when we open our heart to those around us.

  3. LanieBcreative says:

    God definitely moves people in and out of my life, and me in and out of theirs, in seasons. I have a handful of best friends, those long-standing, trusted friends whom God ordained in my life. But our society is so transient that I am separated from my family and longest-standing friends by geography. Likewise, God moves Christian leaders through my life in seasons. I used to wonder why I couldn’t have that one mentor who was my best friend. And for me, I realized because I might be dependent on that strong friend and teacher as my savior when I should rely on only Jesus Christ as the Savior and see my Christian leader as simply and wonderfully someone God appointed.

    • Anita Carman says:

      I totally get what you mean by the temptation to get too dependent on a mentor. God put a mentor in my life when I needed a safe friend. She went to a counselor and learned how to get through her losses. She then shared with me what she learned from her counselor. Today God has called her home but I realize she was in my life because I didn’t trust strangers enough to go to a counselor. So He gave me a best friend I trusted who then served the role as my personal counselor. Then by the way He called her home it was was when she had transferred to me all that God meant for her to teach me. Today I carry her in my heart. She will always have a special place in my heart.

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