When the person I thought would always be there disappears from my life I get distrustful of everyone. I withdraw into myself and I become afraid to conquer the world. In fact, I no longer want to conquer anything. I just want to stay in bed. But it is often while I am hiding under my blankets and never wanting to emerge into the world again that God meets me in my cave. And it is there that He assures me I am not alone. And then with the assurance from God, I emerge from my cave. But I stay out just a little while and withdraw again. It takes me time to build up the assurance to stay out of the cave.
I believe one way God keeps me out of the cave is to put the battle in front of me. When someone has a need and God places that need on my radar or when the ministry has launched with its calendar, I am pulled into activity whether or not I am ready. I find that deadlines can sometimes serve as a life saver because they force me to get out of bed. When I know God has put a conference on the calendar I know that no matter how I am feeling, I must get through the conference because thousands will be impacted if I just quit. And then I’m surprised at how staying committed to what God has put on the schedule pushed me to get up in the morning. And the more I get up, the more I keep going. And then the choice to keep going becomes my mode of operation. It’s like I’m on auto pilot and God has trained me to be a warrior He can trust to finish His mission.